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No parent wants to think about his or her child in trouble with the law. But things happen and children make bad choices. As a parent you will be the best advocate for your child.
Your advocacy for your child begins the moment he/she gets in trouble. If possible be there when the police first make contact. And above all else remember two key things. Be cool and calm, polite and collected.
You are setting and example for your child and, more importantly, you are trying to ameliorate the way in which your child will be treated. Don't aggressively attack the police for even thinking your child has done something wrong. Realize from the outset that you are involved in a well choreographed dance and each dancer must follow the steps assigned.
Your child will take his cue from you. If you are belligerent and abusive, he will be too. If you let your fear or panic show, your child will panic. Try to remain calm and talk to the officers involved.
Depending on the severity of the offense, your child may get a ticket to appear in court or he may be taken to detention. If the latter is the case you will have to bail him out. If possible use cash or a credit card since you will receive the bail money back when the court apearances are over. If you use a bail bonds man you will pay a ten percent fee and that will not be returned to you.
I hope you never have to face trouble with the law, but if you do, remember you can make a difference in the outcome. Tyr to remember these rules.
There are some things you will need to know:
1. You can affect how your child is treated by the court and other officers of the law.
2. You must attend all court dates and meetings pertaining to your child.
3. Keep written records of what is said at these meetings and by whom.
4. Ask questions.
5. If you feel that probation officers are not doing their best for your child, say so. If you feel that you need to pursue this area, have a supervisor sit in on meetings.
6. Make sure that your child does what is expected of him by the court and the probation people. I am talking about probation as if it were a given because most juvenile cases are sent to probation first.
7. Understand that probation officers handling juvenile cases are for the most part interns with a professional officer in charge of them. These people are not always paid and certainly never paid much. they may be very well meaning, but they don't always have all the answers. you have to keep at it yourself if you have questions.
8. Realize that probation violations can get your child thrown into detention. But even if revocation of probation is threatened you can still argue in favor of your child and often change the outcome for the better.
9. You can help your child to learn the lessons of his actions without letting the system chew him up.
10. You are an adult and you are finally the single person with the most to say about your child and his future. Don't be intimidated by the legal system.
Try to keep your kid away from trouble, but if trouble finds your kid don't give up on him and don't assume that the law is always right. Stay on top of the situation and you can control the outcome.
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